You Define Your Emotional Temperature

Sometimes, I'm jealous of my dog.

Last night, when my beloved Seattle Mariners lost a heartbreaker of a game, failing to advance in the playoffs, I sat there spiraling. I was frustrated, disappointed, second-guessing every managerial decision of the last three innings. My dog, meanwhile, was completely unbothered. Still wanted his belly rubbed. Still wagged his tail. Didn't care even a little bit.

The emotional temperature in the room was entirely mine. He wasn't going to let my mood become his.

There's a leadership lesson in that — and a life lesson.

Your emotional temperature is yours to set. The things that happen around you — the deal that falls through, the colleague who takes credit for your work, the project that gets cancelled, the feedback that stings — those things don't set your temperature. You do. The event happens, and then there's a gap, and in that gap is where your response lives.

Most people don't notice the gap. The event happens and the reaction is automatic. And over time, if you're not careful, you end up in a pattern where external circumstances are constantly running your internal state. You're only as good as the last thing that happened.

Emotional regulation isn't about pretending things don't bother you. It's about choosing your response consciously. It's about asking, in the gap between stimulus and reaction: what's the most useful version of me right now? What response actually serves the outcome I want?

Your dog already knows this. Maybe it's time to take the lesson.