When I graduated from college, I had no prospects, no connections, no mentors in the professional world, and nowhere to start.
Honestly, I spent my entire college years partying, playing video games, and going to the gym. I skated by with a 2.3 GPA. I knew every semester I could get at least one D, and a properly curated mixture of a C+, sneak in a couple of B's, and at least one dash of an A, and I would pass. I put in the exact amount of effort that a Communications major needed to, and I had a great time doing it.
Along with not giving a fuck about my school, I also failed to give a fuck about the proper human connections, the networking, and the mentorship that could help my pending career. I would see my friends go make connections with the professors while I was sprinting out the door to get home and play NCAA Football 2003 and prepare for the weekend ahead.
What good was it going to be to connect with a professor in Pullman, Washington? After all, I was moving to Seattle as soon as I graduated and leaving the small town behind. I was off to do big shit, or at least that was my plan.
As it turns out, "doing big shit" ended up meaning working for a small group of casinos handling their marketing and players' rewards program. I guess a kid with no connections, no doors to be opened, and a vague sense of exactly what I wanted to do meant I had to be the second candidate for a job that I never saw myself taking. (Yes, they told me no first, and then called me back after their first candidate passed it up.)
I think my Dad's exact words were, "We paid for four years of school for you to work at a casino?" I mean, yeah, it wasn't the dream job, so I quickly learned I had to find a way to pivot out of my $27K a year Marketing Coordinator job at the Great American Casinos.
I started looking around, realizing I wasn't surrounded by the environment that was going to live up to my career aspirations. They were great people, and I am forever grateful for hiring me, but I had a different path in mind. I wanted to be at the Wynn Hotel & Casino, not the local card room in Tukwila, Washington. I mean, there was one good perk: I got free lunch every day at the restaurants, and I ate my weight in Club sandwiches to make up for my $892 paychecks every two weeks.
Then, in walked a consultant by the name of Michael Cozad, and for some reason, he saw something in me, and my next door opened. Michael took me under his wing, and he taught me the value of mentorship. Within weeks of meeting him, he told me I needed to be in sales, he opened the door to my first job in the industry, and I got a massive pay bump to $31K selling advertising in airports and subway systems around the country for a startup.
From there, I was off to the races. I learned how valuable the people in my life were going to be, and I vowed never to pass up an opportunity to make a connection ever again.
That startup fizzled out within nine months, but I was then off to the media business, where I spent the next ten years, and eventually Zillow, etc. It was all connected dots as a result of people making connections, opening doors, and staying visible at the right times.
I hand out a lot of advice and quotes through these articles, but there is one simple piece of advice I will continue to stand by repeatedly.
You can't lose if you say yes to connections, to meeting new people, to having open, transparent dialogue, and building real relationships.
Your entire career will go at the pace of the people you surround yourself by, and if you get into a job and put the blinders on, thinking that the most important thing you can do is just do your work and go home, you are missing out on the whole point.
I don't care what industry you're in, where you work, the city or region; nothing matters when you take the time to make connections and build relationships.
Doors will open.
Your mind will be open.
And you'll go in the fast lane from that point forward.
When I was focused on just doing what I wanted to do, like partying and playing video games and not giving a fuck around school, I was forgetting the whole point of the degree was really geared towards one big networking opportunity. I didn't have to treat school seriously, but I should have treated the relationship-building seriously.
I often get asked, "How do I even start the conversation with someone?"
First, think about networking and building connections like the layers of an onion.
Consider the first layer as the layer of people you know the most intimately. People you've worked with as your former work besties, colleagues, or even past life friends you haven't connected with in a while. These could be relationships you've lost touch with and just need to re-engage. They are the easiest to get started again because you have so much in common.
The second layer is people with whom you have something in common but are somewhat removed. Perhaps you both know someone well, but you just haven't met, or you went to the same college. You have something that ties you two together, but you just need to introduce yourself to make the connection happen.
The next layer is cold, and you happen to be starting from scratch on these connections, but chances are, there is still a connecting factor. Maybe you've never spoken to them before, and maybe you are 3rd connection on LinkedIn, but somewhere, I promise you, you still have a connection to build.
So how do you actually kick it off? Start simple.
If it is someone from that first layer, the close contacts, just shoot them a quick text or LinkedIn message: "Hey, it's been a while, I'd love to catch up and hear what you've been working on." For that second layer, lean on the shared tie: "I noticed you also went to WSU, figured it would be great to connect." And for those cold connections, keep it human and low pressure: "I've been following your work and would love to hear more about how you got started." It is not about having the perfect line, it is about taking the first step.
The thing most people forget is that networking is just talking to people. Strip away the formality, and you realize it is not a transaction; it is a conversation.
The more you treat it as a chance to learn, listen, and exchange ideas, the less intimidating it feels. The key is to be curious, not self-serving. Ask good questions, genuinely care about the answers, and the relationship builds itself from there.
When I think back on my own career, the people who changed the game for me were not connections I made at some fancy event or through a perfectly rehearsed elevator pitch. They were people I chose to reach out to, show up for, and stay connected with. The opportunities, promotions, and pivots all came because of those relationships, not because my resume was better tailored than someone else's.
If you take nothing else from this, remember this: your career is built on people, not just on hard work. Send the message, ask the question, take the coffee. Every single conversation is a seed. Plant enough of them, and you will be shocked at how quickly your career starts to grow.