As many people know by now, I play Call of Duty on my PlayStation each night before going to bed as a way to let my mind decompress completely. It's the thing I do that allows me to not think about any nonsense, no stresses of work, and certainly the only time I truly zone out over the course of a 10-12 hour work day.
Last night, I sniped this guy from quite a distance. It was one of those shots that, when I clicked the fire button, I didn't anticipate taking him out. But I did. One shot, done. It was awesome.
When I did, I laughed out loud with the belly laugh of a dictator that just screwed over his people. It felt great. Then, in my ear, I could hear the guy say, "Stupid hacker!"
I was appalled. Hacker? As if I even have the tools or knowledge to know how to hack my way into cheating at Call of Duty. I mean, some days I wish I did, but it's also a big unwritten rule not to play like this. I don't hack the system, and I don't cheat when I play.
And then, I realized how big a compliment it was. This guy was so shocked that I hit such a big shot that he literally thought I must have been cheating. It was almost like I had made it. I had been accused of playing outside of the rules because one could not even fathom the move I made.
Sometimes, the comments that can offend us at first are the biggest compliments.
Criticism Is Often Respect in Disguise
In our careers, we get offended way too easily. Someone questions your approach, challenges your decision, or throws a jab in a meeting, and we spiral. We take it personally. We start second-guessing ourselves. But what if those moments aren't really insults? What if they're actually compliments in disguise?
That guy calling me a hacker because I landed an impossible shot wasn't accusing me. He was shocked. He couldn't believe what he just saw, so his brain filled in the blank with, "must be cheating." And honestly, that's kind of the point.
When people can't explain your success, they try to discredit it. It's easier for them to say you got lucky, had an unfair advantage, or didn't earn it than to admit that maybe, just maybe, you're that good.
We've all seen it. Someone questions how you got the promotion, how you landed the big client, how you made the leap. They make some snide comment, and your gut reaction is to fire back or defend your worth. But take a breath. Look closer. What they're really saying is, "I didn't think that was possible, and now I'm uncomfortable with how wrong I was."
Take the compliment. Set aside the delivery, the jealousy, the tone, and get to the root. That friction you feel is often respect in disguise. You're doing something that others thought couldn't be done, and not everyone knows how to deal with that.
So the next time someone throws shade your way, remember this: you didn't do anything against the rules to get there. You didn't cut corners. You just showed up and did the thing better than they expected. Let that speak louder than their reaction.