Once upon a time, I said yes to a networking meeting, and within three minutes, I regretted it.
I say yes to every phone call. I never turn down a chance to meet someone new or help someone who is looking for guidance. But occasionally, that openness leads me to a conversation that makes me want to close the laptop and go lie down.
Not every networking meeting is a win. And part of building a sustainable, high-quality network is learning how to tell the difference before you have committed your time.
The meetings that do not work tend to have a few things in common. The person on the other end is not actually interested in a relationship — they are interested in a transaction. They want something specific, and the networking meeting is just a polite wrapper around the ask.
I am not opposed to asks. Asks are fine. Being direct about what you need is actually a sign of respect for someone's time. What I am opposed to is the performance of connection that is really just a setup for extraction.
The networking meetings worth having are the ones where both people leave feeling energized, where something honest was exchanged, where there was a genuine interest in each other's work beyond what either person could offer the other.
Be selective. Your time and attention are finite. Protect them with the same intention you would bring to any other valuable resource.
Say yes generously. But build enough self-awareness to know when a meeting is costing you more than it is giving you — and give yourself permission to pass.