The Painful Co-Workers — How to Handle People You Can't Stand

Here's something for you. How do you handle people at work that you just can't stand?

Let's talk about it, and let's not pretend that we like everyone, because we don't.

I don't care where you work, you are going to come across people whose existence just bothers you. You're going to work with people who are passive-aggressive, who don't pull their weight, who are rude, and who you just don't enjoy being around.

It's real. It's honest. I don't care if you're uncomfortable with this — it's true.

I've worked with some amazing people in my career, and I've worked with some whom I just don't care for. And there are levels, too — let's be real.

Level 1: People you don't really like, but you're fine with as long as they stay out of your way. You're not going to get happy hour drinks with these people, but you're also not completely irritated if they show up. They can be at the table, but you don't want them sitting next to you. Simply put — they're fine, but whatever.

Level 2: These are the people who, when you know they're early to the Zoom, you pretend your audio can't connect so you avoid talking to them. They don't return their grocery carts. They're confused as to why people don't include them. They ask too many questions in meetings, they call when all you want is a text, and more importantly, they don't deliver on what they're supposed to.

Level 3: These are the worst. They're rude, abrasive, not nice people. They're political, agenda drivers, and it's all about them, all the time. You try to build a relationship only to later realize they used information against you. They're nice to your face but talking elsewhere. They just suck.

So what do you do about them? Because you still have to do your job. You still have to show up, lead meetings, hit targets, and be the version of yourself you're proud of — even when someone you can't stand is three seats away.

Here's the truth: you don't have to like everyone, but you do have to outclass them. That means being clear, consistent, and professional even when they're being messy. You don't let their dysfunction set the tone for your career. You set the tone. Every single day.

Start by drawing hard boundaries. Not petty ones — professional ones. Stop oversharing with people who don't have your back. Don't engage in their drama. Keep your receipts, keep your distance, and keep your energy focused on people and work that deserve it.

You can't fix them, but you can control how much access they have to your emotional space. If you have to collaborate, be direct, be brief, and get the job done. But do not confuse tolerance with permission.

The next move is to find your allies. Build your circle inside the company. Nothing neutralizes a toxic coworker faster than having a few sharp, emotionally intelligent peers in your corner.

And look, if this person is your boss or in a power position, you have a different set of choices. You either figure out how to manage up like a pro, or you start plotting your exit with precision. Just don't sit still and complain forever. You deserve better than being chronically annoyed and underutilized.

At the end of the day, not everyone deserves a seat at your emotional table. You can respect the role someone plays in a business without respecting them. And one day, you'll be in a room they're not even invited to.