I don't know why we do this, but for some reason, we tell ourselves that we're the only ones going through some sort of challenge in our careers. And there is such an easy solution for all of this. All we have to do is talk.
Talk to other people. Talk to peers. Talk to friends, colleagues, former leaders, current ones. But for some reason, we go inward in these moments. We get in our own heads. We start talking to ourselves with a negative undertone, and we make up our minds that we're struggling in ways nobody else would understand.
But when we start talking to others, we realize we're not alone. We're not the only ones going through a particular struggle. We can find comfort in the fact that others have been through the same challenges at various times too.
One of the best examples of this is being a parent. Especially if you have a teenager. When you have a teenager, you wonder what the actual hell is going on with them on a daily basis. They're moody, emotional, cranky, non-conversational at times, and they act like you're the biggest loser on the planet trying to embarrass them at every turn.
To normalize this, I talk to other parents. And nothing normalizes your feelings like talking to the parent of another teenager. When you start trading notes, you instantly realize it's not them — it's just the reality of the age. Your teenager isn't an anomaly; they're just like every other teenager out there. These conversations lead to big revelations like, "Your kid does that too?!" Or my favorite: "What the heck, I thought mine was the only one!"
The more you talk to people going through a similar situation, the more likely you are to feel normal about whatever you have going on. So why do we shy away from talking about our challenges? Mostly because we're afraid to expose what we feel is a weakness. After all, we're supposed to have it all together all the time, right? Wrong.
But here's the truth. Nobody has it all together all the time. And if they say they do, they're either lying to you or to themselves. Most of us are carrying something we don't talk about — a doubt, a fear, a regret, a decision we're second-guessing. And when we finally say it out loud to someone else, it's usually met with a version of, "Yeah, I've felt that too." That moment is when the shame starts to lift.
Talking doesn't solve everything. It won't magically fix your career or change your circumstances overnight. But it gives you context. It gives you connection. It helps you breathe again and realize you're not failing. You're just navigating a season that others have walked through before you.
Sometimes what we need isn't advice or a solution. Sometimes we just need someone to say, "I see you. I've been there too."
So if you're sitting in it right now, feeling stressed, confused, and uncertain about what comes next, try opening up to someone. Start a conversation. The only real difference between those who keep spiraling and those who move forward is this: the ones who move forward don't do it alone. They talk. They share. They listen. And they keep going.
Trust me. You're normal, it's okay, and it's all going to be alright.