One of my coaching clients yelled at me yesterday because it took me way longer than it should have to figure out what she was trying to convey. (She didn't really yell at me I'm being dramatic)
"I just want to build a community Scott," she kept saying.
But for some reason I kept trying to turn it into a capitalistic opportunity. "How will you charge for subscriptions? How will you add value to the community? What type of expenses will you have with this program?"
Get Scott’s article every morning
No spam. Just straight-talk career advice, every day.
"Scott, enough, I'm just trying to surround myself with great people who are like minded who can challenge, support, and share best practices and more."
I brought my bias to the conversation which was to think about how to create revenue through value, I wasn't thinking clearly enough about the importance of a community to someone and why they would want to build great people around them first. Which is weird because I preach community so often.
The truth is, not everything you build needs to become a business. Not every room needs a ticket price. Not every connection needs to turn into a lead. Sometimes the value is simply having people around you who understand what you are trying to do and who are willing to help you become better at it.
Careers can be incredibly lonely, especially when you are trying to grow into something that the people around you do not fully understand. Your coworkers may only know the version of you that exists inside your current role. Your family may support you but not understand the politics, pressure, or ambition that comes with the work. Your friends may care deeply about you but have no idea how to help you navigate the decisions sitting in front of you.
Sometimes the most valuable person in your network is not the one who gives you an opportunity. It is the one who reminds you who you are when an opportunity disappears.
That is where community matters.
You need people in your life who can challenge your thinking without making you feel small. People who can tell you the truth when you are lying to yourself. People who will celebrate your wins without becoming jealous and sit with you in the losses without immediately trying to fix everything. Those relationships are difficult to find, which is exactly why they are worth intentionally building.
We spend so much time thinking about networking as a transactional exercise. Who can introduce me to someone? Who can help me get a job? Who can open a door? Those things matter, but they are a small part of what a strong professional community can actually provide. Sometimes the most valuable person in your network is not the one who gives you an opportunity. It is the one who reminds you who you are when an opportunity disappears.
The people around you influence what you believe is possible. If everyone in your circle is afraid to take a risk, eventually their fear starts sounding like wisdom. If everyone around you complains about their career but never changes anything, standing still starts to feel normal. Great communities raise your standards, expand your thinking, and make it harder for you to accept a life that no longer fits.
My client was not trying to build a revenue stream. She was trying to build a room she wanted to be in. A room filled with smart, generous, ambitious people who could learn from one another and make each other better. Once I finally stopped trying to monetize the room, I realized she was building something that might be far more valuable than anything I was suggesting.