Being a parent is tough business. When you have kids, you bring them into this world because you want to share your life with them, you want to teach, you want to love, you want to build a family, and more. But you forget you have to go through the hard moments as parents too, which means the difficult conversations about growth and life and all of the learnings that you must teach.
As a very long and difficult conversation was wrapping up last night with our fifteen year old, I put my arms around him and I said, “If I die tonight, the absolute one thing I want you to remember is that every single big goal you want to go achieve in life is on the other side of a very difficult and challenging wall to climb, but you have all the talents to climb it, you just have to believe it.”
It’s always so easy to give up and just throw in the towel when things get tough, but if and when you do, you miss out on all of the amazing growth and fulfillment that comes with achieving your goals.
I know it’s cliché of me to say it at this point, but it’s true, and if you’ve followed my writing for a while, then you know I talk about this often.
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The bigger the reward, the harder the journey, and the more rewarding the process will ultimately be.
Everyone wants the big outcome, but very few people want the uncomfortable path required to get there. You want the promotion, the better title, the higher salary, the stronger reputation, the bigger opportunity, and the seat at the table, but every one of those things demands something from you first.
Your career does not move forward just because you want it badly enough. It moves forward when you are willing to do the hard, uncomfortable, frustrating work that most people avoid.
Talent matters, but talent alone is never enough. You can be smart, capable, charismatic, experienced, and well-liked, but if you avoid every difficult conversation, quit every time you get uncomfortable, or shrink when expectations rise, then your talent never gets a chance to become anything meaningful. The wall is where the growth happens. The wall is where your reputation gets built. The wall is where people find out if you are really the person you say you want to become.
“Everyone wants the outcome. Almost nobody wants the uncomfortable path that leads to it.”
In your career, the wall looks different for everyone. For some people, it is finally speaking up in a meeting. For others, it is asking for the promotion, taking the job that scares them, leaving the company that no longer fits, rebuilding after getting laid off, receiving feedback without getting defensive, or admitting they have been coasting for too long. The wall is usually the thing you keep avoiding while telling yourself you are waiting for the right time.
Growth usually shows up as pressure. It shows up as uncertainty. It shows up as the assignment you are not sure you are ready for, the leader who challenges you, the role that exposes your gaps, or the moment where you realize your old version is no longer enough for the next version of your career.
That is why I believe careers are built in the hard parts. Everyone looks confident after the promotion. Everyone looks smart after the deal closes. Everyone looks prepared once the opportunity works out. The real question is who are you before that moment arrives? Who are you when the work is messy, the feedback stings, the outcome is uncertain, and nobody is clapping for you yet?
The people who grow are not always the most talented people in the room. They are usually the people willing to stay in the hard part longer than everyone else. They keep climbing when it would be easier to stop. They keep learning when it would be easier to blame. They keep showing up when the wall in front of them feels bigger than their confidence.
Every big thing you want in your career is probably sitting on the other side of something uncomfortable. That does not mean you are not capable. It means you are being asked to become capable at the next level. The wall is not there to prove you do not belong. Sometimes the wall is there to show you what you are actually made of.