A few months back, I was getting my haircut at this trendy little salon in Vancouver, British Columbia. I was up there for work, and apparently, getting a haircut in Seattle isn't easy, so I opted to get one when I was traveling for work. For whatever reason, I tend to have some spare time on the road. This isn't the first time I've gotten my haircut while traveling for work. In fact, I got it cut in Palm Springs about a month ago!
Regardless, I booked an appointment with whoever was available, and next thing you know, I was in the seat.
Every once in a while, I appreciate a fancy salon. It makes me feel like I'm treating myself. It also makes me feel a little out of place while women are paying $1,500 for extensions, and a guy with incredibly well-manicured eyebrows is judging my eyebrows at the seat next to me.
On this particular day, I was called back by this gorgeous bohemian woman, whom I assume was named Willow. I knew it was going to be a good haircut, not because she was going to just pay me attention for an hour in exchange for my $100 haircut, but also because she just had a vibe that said she would cut good hair.
I explained I was trying to wear my hair longer these days, and I just needed a little trim, and that I was open to any suggestions on how to wear it. I have this dream to grow my hair out and look like a twenty-something Spaniard, but I'm sure I'd end up looking like a forty-something manager of a guitar store.
Either way, we were off to the races.
As we got to the end of the haircut, she made mention that I should grow my sideburns a little longer. Like the fucking lemming that I was in that moment, I nodded my head and agreed. I mean, let's be honest, Willow could have told me to do anything with my hair, and I would have listened. I'm in the chair, I'm relaxed, and there's no reason to ruin the beautiful hour we shared together.
So then I started to grow my sideburns a little long. At first, I was kind of like "ok, let's see what happens here," I mean, why not, nobody is photographing me for a magazine, and what the hell do I know about hair and fashion. But then, as the weeks rolled on, I realized I both had no ability to groom them properly, and I started to think I looked like a douche. (and yes, I still have them all because I haven't just taken the step to shave them off)
I hate them, in fact. I started to film a video the other day, and it was the only thing I could focus on. I'm sure it's one of those things that nobody else has really noticed, but it's the one thing my eyes turn to each time I see myself in a mirror.
And it's all because Willow influenced me.
Now, don't you go blaming Willow for one second. She's a whimsical, free-spirited child of god who just wants to chase the sun and feel the vibes.
No, you blame me. I was influenced, and it's a reminder that who we're influenced by has a massive impact on what we both do and don't do in our careers.
I know I've written a lot about the circles or the people we surround ourselves with, but who and why we are influenced is so crucial. If you choose to be influenced by someone, make sure they are credible and know the topic they're talking to you about. If you're choosing to follow the likes of an idol or celebrity from a distance, make sure it's the right move for you. If you are thinking that a leader is someone you want to be influenced by in your organization or circle, great, but again, do they mirror the values you seek?
Don't get me started on how much we get influenced by social media. Whether it's a person we follow, an idiot who writes career content every day, being pushed to buy a product, click a button, or sign up for this or that. We're being influenced every single day, all the time.
The scary part is that most of it doesn't feel like influence in the moment. It feels like a suggestion. A casual comment like "you should try this."
It feels harmless. It feels easy to say yes to because there's no immediate consequence. But those small, seemingly insignificant nudges start to stack, and before you know it, you're walking around with metaphorical sideburns in your career, wondering how the hell you got there and why it doesn't feel like you anymore.
This is where you've got to slow yourself down just enough to ask a better question, not "Do I trust them?" but "Do I want to become more like them?" Because influence is rarely about a single decision, it's about direction. It's about who you're letting shape your thinking, your standards, your actions over time. And if you're not intentional, you'll drift.
You'll take advice from people who sound confident but haven't actually done what you want to do. You'll follow paths that look good from the outside but feel completely off when you're living them.
So yeah, this might sound ridiculous because it started with a haircut and some terrible sideburns that I still haven't shaved off, but it's not really about that.
It's about ownership. It's about recognizing that you are always being influenced, whether you like it or not, and deciding to take control of who gets that access. Because the right influence will move you forward faster than you thought possible, and the wrong one will have you staring in the mirror, wondering why something feels off.
So take a look at your circle, take a look at who you're listening to, and ask yourself honestly, is this someone I should be taking direction from, or am I just sitting in the chair nodding along because it feels easier in the moment?