We have three cats. I know, it’s right on the danger zone of being a crazy cat household. I used to say that two cats were the maximum, but then we ended up with a third so I guess the rules got extended.
There’s Nelly, Wilson, and Julio. Nelly is the alpha, Wilson is the loner, and Julio is the lover. Except there’s one caveat: Wilson hates Julio. He despises his entire existence. In fact, he hates Julio so much that we have to keep them separated. Wilson has attacked Julio several times, and it’s never a fair fight. Julio is about 8.5 pounds, and Wilson just kicks his ass. We’ve had to take Julio to the vet a few times after being attacked, and after the final round a year or so ago, we made it official: these two will never hang out in the same room again.
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Which sucks, by the way, because if they could get over their differences, they would be great friends.
They’re both spot stealers. They both love the same spot on the couch. They both like to play with the same toys. They love the heat. They love being on the deck. The only thing is, they have to stay separated.
So when we leave town, one of them has to be locked away in our bedroom while the other hangs out with Nelly and roams the house.
It’s usually Wilson who gets the shaft and has to stay all by himself because he’s the easiest. His loner mentality means he gets single guy treatment, while Julio and Nelly use their passports all through the house.
Wilson gets the locked-away treatment, though, because he’s easy. He’s the one who goes with the flow otherwise, outside of hating Julio. He doesn’t squirm, he doesn’t fight, he doesn’t claw at the door, he doesn’t rip apart a blanket or knock stuff off the counters when he’s in prison. He just looks at you with big eyes when you close the door and say goodbye, and he goes about his business.
It’s no different as a pet than it is as an employee or business person.
The one who goes the quietest usually ends up getting the shaft to some extent.
The loud employee complains about the room, the workload, the schedule, and the inconvenience. They make their frustration impossible to ignore, which usually means somebody has to deal with it. The quiet employee says they are fine, nods their head, closes the door, and gets back to work. Guess who stays locked in the bedroom?
Being quiet does not always make you mature, professional, or patient. Sometimes it just makes you invisible.
People rarely create more problems for themselves when an easier option is sitting right in front of them. If you are flexible, reliable, and willing to absorb whatever gets thrown your way, people will keep throwing things your way. Your ability to handle it becomes the exact reason they keep asking you to handle it.
There is a fine line between being easy to work with and becoming the person everyone takes advantage of. One builds trust. The other builds resentment. The difference usually comes down to whether you are willing to speak up before the arrangement becomes permanent.
Being quiet does not always make you mature, professional, or patient. Sometimes it just makes you invisible. People cannot respect a boundary you never communicated, and they cannot give you what you want if you keep pretending you do not want anything.
Wilson may never claw at the door, but that does not mean he wants to be locked behind it when we’re gone. The same is true for you. Going with the flow may keep the peace for a while, but eventually you have to make some noise, scratch at the door, and remind people that being the easiest option does not mean you should always get the shaft.