I meet a lot of startup founders through my network and experience working in tech across different countries. What I find so fascinating is that people revere startup founders for their guts, their risk-taking, and, a lot of the time, their intelligence. But I’m here to tell you it’s perceived intelligence, it’s not always real, and the only difference between you and them is they have the audacity to actually make the leap and try starting a company from scratch.
One trait you want to find in a founder is conviction. You want a founder to believe their idea is without a doubt the best idea, for the best product, to fuel a company to go to the moon and back on the heels of earning billions of dollars for everyone around them.
What you don’t want to see is a founder who waffles on their ideas or gives you the impression they may not fully be bought in based on market trends or the feedback they’re receiving from clients.
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Simply put, you want founders to have a level of confidence that is grounded in reality, while also balancing the fine line between belief and arrogance.
Arrogance is probably the wrong word; it’s more like an aura. You want a founder to have an aura that surrounds them. After all, if they’re raising millions of dollars, you don’t do that without having some level of swagger about yourself.
That fine line between belief and arrogance is a tight rope to walk, though, and there is nothing worse than coming across an arrogant founder, which I recently did.
I went into a meeting with someone, really excited to learn about them, their product, their journey, and more, and by the time we were headed to the door, I was checked out and over the entire experience. Arrogance is a trait I don’t do well with, and I’m sure there are some deep reasons for that. Perhaps it’s my buried Alpha personality that I don’t show, mixed with the uber competitive drive, so that when I run into someone who is outwardly arrogant about whatever they’ve done or are doing, it just lights a dynamite stick inside me that makes me want to see them fail beyond belief.
I think some of it comes from my belief that humility is such an important trait. I truly believe that those who are humble, no matter their intelligence, their success, their access, or their network, are some of the most magical people to be around.
If you’ve ever hung around someone you deem successful and intelligent and they’re arrogant, are you excited to be around them again? Chances are no. But if you’ve spent time around someone who checks all the boxes and they’re humble, engaging, and willing to listen and ask questions, you’re probably so impressed that you look for ways to be around them again and again.
This particular individual was arrogant and brash, and I had no energy for it. I actually know some of their investors, and it made me question what I missed or what they saw.
Then again, maybe that is the lesson.
Investors are not investing in the person you meet at a coffee shop for forty-five minutes. They’re investing in the vision, the opportunity, the market, and the possibility that this individual can will something into existence that doesn’t yet exist. Sometimes that requires a level of confidence that can feel uncomfortable to the rest of us, but it doesn’t mean someone gets a free pass to arrogance.
The problem is that confidence is magnetic when paired with humility, and repulsive when paired with ego.
The longer my career has gone on, the more I’ve realized that people rarely remember how smart you were. They remember how you made them feel. They remember whether you listened. They remember whether you made space for other people in the conversation. They remember whether you treated the intern, the receptionist, the customer, and the investor with the same level of respect. Intelligence gets you invited into the room. Character determines whether people want you back.
Perhaps that’s why humility remains one of the most underrated competitive advantages in business.
People want to work with people they enjoy being around. Employees follow leaders they trust. Customers buy from people they respect. Investors write second checks to founders they believe can keep learning.
Conviction may get you started, and swagger may help you raise money, but humility is often what keeps people in your corner long after the excitement of the pitch has faded.