When I was in college, I loved Thursday nights. They usually consisted of a group of buddies starting the night at my apartment, before going to the bars and or hitting up a party somewhere, before showing back up at home around 3am, drunk out of my mind. (I can’t believe I only got a 2.3 GPA)
Back then, texting wasn’t really a thing, and no social media existed, so when you decided to go to a bar, you were usually going in cold, not knowing who was there unless someone had called you ahead of time to let you know it was happening. You also decided to stay at a certain bar or party based on what was going on there, rather than leaving because you knew there was a better party happening elsewhere. If you chose to leave that bar, then you took a gamble that you were going to a less engaging bar down the street. Trust me, there were many nights we left Shakers thinking that Valhalla was going to be better, and it wasn’t. There were also nights we left a house party to show up at Shakers and to find out it was absolutely insane, and we should have shown up earlier.
The point is, you didn’t ever really have enough info about what was happening somewhere else to have FOMO, nor did you really think much about the fact that you were missing out somewhere else. In addition to that, if you did leave one party to go to another party, you weren’t getting texted photos and updates, or seeing a trending hashtag on social media that you just left the greatest Project X event ever.
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Today, we have access to almost too much information. If you decide to go to work for a company today, it’s because they made you a great offer, but also it’s because you might have read the Glassdoor review, or seen their day one swag items on social media, or you saw their Presidents Club photos from their trip to Kauai. Whatever the case, you know a lot about a particular organization before you join.
The same thing happens when you are seeing everyone else’s posts from a distance when you’re thinking about wanting to leave your current role. You start gathering information and learning about other places before you decide that it’s time to go seek out another location.
I say all this because I think sometimes we overanalyze and overresearch before making decisions, rather than just trusting ourselves on why we may want to make a change. Most times, we have all of the relevant information available based on conversations and experience, yet we overdo every single piece of the thought process because of all of these details.
Most people already know what they need to do long before they actually do it. They know the environment is wrong. They know the leadership is draining them. They know they are bored, uninspired, underpaid, disconnected, or simply checked out. The problem usually is not a lack of information. The problem is that we convince ourselves there must be one more article to read, one more podcast to listen to, one more person to talk to, or one more spreadsheet to build before we finally allow ourselves to make a move.
Somewhere along the way, preparation became a socially acceptable form of procrastination.
What becomes dangerous is that the more information we consume, the easier it becomes to create narratives that keep us exactly where we are.
One employee posts a glowing review about a company culture, while another person talks about layoffs six months later. Someone uploads a perfect Presidents Club photo from Cabo while another former employee writes a Reddit thread about burnout and impossible expectations. At some point, you stop gathering information to make an informed decision and start gathering information to avoid making one altogether. The research itself becomes the comfort blanket.
I honestly think this is one of the biggest reasons people stay stuck in careers that no longer fit them. They are waiting for certainty in a world where certainty rarely exists. They want guarantees before taking risks. They want proof that the next role, next city, next company, or next opportunity will absolutely work out before they give themselves permission to move.
The reality is that some of the best decisions you will ever make in your life are going to come from instinct, timing, energy, and self-awareness rather than perfect data collection. Sometimes you simply know when something no longer feels right.
Ironically, too much access to everyone else’s lives can make you lose touch with your own judgment entirely. You stop listening to your gut and start outsourcing your decision-making to social media, reviews, rankings, comments, influencers, LinkedIn posts, or anonymous strangers on the internet who know absolutely nothing about your life.
Back in college, we walked into bars with uncertainty and figured it out in real time. Sometimes the night was incredible. Sometimes it sucked. Either way, we survived it, adapted, laughed about it later, and kept moving.
Careers honestly work the exact same way. Eventually, you have to stop staring at everyone else’s party from the sidewalk and decide to walk into your own.