When I meet new people for the first time, I try to ask as many questions as I can. There are two reasons for this: the first is that I am genuinely curious about others, and the second is that my being curious about others allows them to open up more during our first conversation, thus leading to more conversations and or opportunities down the road.
Early in my sales career, I was in a training that stuck with me for life. The trainer said that each time you build a slide deck or a presentation for a client, you should ensure you are putting lots of photos, images, and or notes about the business and or things you heard during the discovery call. The theory here is that clients like to hear more about their business during your sales pitch. The example they used was that back in the day, when you got your photos developed at the store, and you got that stack of them back, you would thumb through them to look for yourself first and foremost. We love to see ourselves in the stack of photos as opposed to others. As a result, the more info we put in that deck about what we heard, the better and the more leaned in a client would be.
As such, the only way to do this was to be curious about the client and ask a ton of questions. It taught me early to be curious, to learn about people, and to just shut up and listen.
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Over my career, it’s paid dividends. The more you ask questions, the more people want to tell you about them, and we love to talk about ourselves. It also gives off the impression that you care, whether you do or don’t. (You should care, trust me on this.)
The funny thing is that curiosity has quietly become one of the most underrated skills in business and relationships. Most people walk into conversations waiting for their turn to speak instead of actually listening to what the other person is saying. You can feel it almost immediately when someone is simply waiting to talk about themselves versus someone who is genuinely interested in understanding your perspective, your story, your business, your fears, or your goals.
Curiosity creates connections faster than almost anything else in the world.
Over time, I also realized that curiosity makes people memorable. People rarely remember the person who dominated the entire conversation, talking about themselves for an hour straight. Or they remember that person for all the wrong reasons.
They remember the person who made them feel heard. They remember the person who asked thoughtful questions. They remember the person who noticed the small details, followed up later, and made them feel like they actually mattered. In a world where most people are distracted, disconnected, staring at their phones, or mentally somewhere else entirely, simple curiosity feels almost rare now.
Curiosity has also opened doors for me that talent alone never would have. Some of the biggest opportunities, relationships, introductions, partnerships, and friendships in my life came from asking one extra question or staying interested in someone else’s story a little longer than most people would have. Every person you meet knows something you do not know, has experienced something you have not experienced, or sees the world differently than you do. Curiosity allows you to borrow perspectives from people you otherwise would never fully understand.
A lot of people also underestimate how much curiosity lowers defenses. People naturally become more comfortable around someone who makes them feel safe enough to talk openly. Sales work that way. Leadership works that way. Coaching works that way. Parenting works that way, too. The more people feel seen, understood, and heard, the more trust starts forming naturally. Trust almost always grows faster when someone feels like you actually care enough to understand their world instead of forcing them into yours.
The dangerous thing is that many people lose curiosity as they get older. They become convinced they already understand people, industries, politics, careers, relationships, or life itself. That mindset quietly closes doors everywhere.
Curious people continue evolving. Curious people adapt. Curious people keep learning while everyone else becomes rigid in their thinking. Most growth in life usually starts with someone being willing to admit they do not know everything yet.
The older I get, the more I think curiosity may actually be one of the purest forms of respect you can give another human being. Taking the time to ask questions, listen carefully, remember details, and genuinely try to understand someone communicates something powerful without ever having to say it directly.
People want to feel important. People want to feel seen. Curiosity gives people that feeling, and ironically, the more curious you become about others, the more opportunities, relationships, trust, and success seem to find their way back to you.