So two months ago, I was invited to speak to a group of students at the University of Washington. The class started at 7pm on a Thursday, and many of these students were grad students, which means there is a high probability that some of them had worked all day.
When I speak to classes, the agenda is fairly casual. I don’t bring slides, as I want the conversation to be interactive, and I want to engage the students. I want to make it casual, rather than have them sit and listen to another speaker drone on about something they most likely aren’t interested in.
On this particular night, I started my discussion as usual on the concept of building your career intentionally. Ten minutes in, someone started snoring.
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I shit you not, sitting about ten feet from me, a guy sitting back in his seat, with his arms folded, head back, started snoring.
Now, I had two options. I could choose to ignore him and just go about my discussion, or I could politely find a way to wake him up. However, I had to strike a delicate balance between waking him up and not looking like the irritated elder millennial in front of the class, all while keeping it engaging.
So, while I was talking, I weaved in some thought process around your brand, ensuring you are building a brand that gets noticed and isn’t boring, “unlike this speech I’m giving at the moment,” and I lightly tapped on the desk in front of him while smiling. He woke up, the class laughed, and we all went about the rest of the discussion.
How you respond and handle situations that come your way will always define you in your career. Anyone can look composed when the room is going exactly as planned. The real test comes when someone falls asleep ten feet away from you, a client loses their mind, a coworker challenges you publicly, or your boss drops a pile of unexpected shit on your desk at 4:45 on a Friday afternoon.
Your first reaction will usually be emotional. You might feel embarrassed, disrespected, frustrated, or completely pissed off. That reaction is human, but it does not have to become your response. The space between what happens and what you do next is where your professional reputation is usually built.
Had I stopped the conversation and called the student out, I probably would have lost the room. Maybe he had worked a twelve-hour day. Maybe he had a newborn at home. Maybe I was boring the absolute hell out of him. None of those possibilities required me to embarrass him in front of everyone else just so I could prove that I was in charge.
Careers are filled with moments where you will have every right to react poorly. Someone will eventually disrespect you, overlook you, interrupt you, blame you, or put you in a situation you never asked to be in. Having the right to lose your shit does not mean losing your shit is the right move.
Anyone can look composed when the room goes as planned. Your reputation is built in the space between what happens and what you do next.
People remember the person who can steady the room without making everything about themselves. They remember the leader who can use humor, show a little grace, and keep moving without turning one awkward moment into a full-blown disaster. You cannot control who falls asleep during your speech, but you can always control whether you wake them up with a smile or burn down the entire classroom trying to make a point.