My role was eliminated back at the end of April, and I'd be lying to you if I told you it didn't fuck with my head a bit.
I tried to act strong about it. I tried to tell myself it was ok because I knew it wasn't really the right role fit. I tried to tell myself that all of the market conditions and things outside of my control had all the effect on it, but in reality, I definitely thought a few times that maybe it was me, maybe I had lost my touch, and maybe I wasn't as great as I thought I was.
The job search, of course, only fucks with your head even more. You get rejected six or seven dozen times, with auto-replies that don't give you any feedback. You get rejected from roles you don't even want, and you get rejected for the dumbest stuff, oftentimes just for saying one answer to an interview question wrong.
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When I finally started to get offers, I was excited, but that little thing in the back of my head also caused me to wonder a few different times if I had lost my edge and wouldn't be successful again.
It's so funny how a little event over the course of your career can cause so much mental strife, and I know I'm not alone in this.
If you're currently going through something like this, my advice to you is simple: block out the noise and keep going forward. Fuck the past, fuck the people who get in your way, and fuck anyone who doesn't believe in you the way you deserve to be believed in.
At some point you have to decide whether you're going to let one chapter become the story of your entire career. I could have sat there and obsessed over what happened in April. I could have replayed every decision, every conversation, every mistake, and every person who may or may not have believed in me. None of that would have changed a thing.
The only thing I could control was what I did next.
So I kept moving. I kept applying. I kept interviewing. I kept talking to people. I kept writing. I kept coaching. I kept trying to create momentum anywhere I could find it, even on the days when I didn't really feel like I had much momentum at all.
Confidence doesn't always come before the action. Sometimes the action has to come first. Sometimes you have to keep showing up while your confidence is still sitting somewhere in the parking lot trying to catch up with you.
Eventually, you start getting little pieces of yourself back. A good conversation. A recruiter who sees your value. An interview where you know you crushed it. An offer. A new opportunity. A reminder that you didn't suddenly become less capable just because one company decided to eliminate your role.
Your career is going to have moments that make you question yourself. You might get fired. You might get laid off. You might lose a promotion. You might bomb an interview. You might have a boss who doesn't see what you bring to the table. That shit can hurt, but it doesn't get to define you unless you let it.
The next chapter of your career doesn't need permission from the last one.
So if you're in that place right now, keep going. Your confidence might be bruised. Your ego might be bruised. You might be questioning things you never questioned before. Keep moving anyway. The next chapter of your career doesn't need permission from the last one.